But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Someone signed my nipple.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
