Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
