I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
