i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
