I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
