the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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