OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
