Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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