so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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