Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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