Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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