I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
