In the future we'll all be gay
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i came on her dog
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Randomize
