If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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