We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
