If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I touched a dick in church today
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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