You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
