Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
