I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
