I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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