I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
