So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize