And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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