im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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