he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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