i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
