I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
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