I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
