Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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