Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
