I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
The Olympian is in my bed
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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