You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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