i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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