ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i drank out of a bidet.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
