Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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