my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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