I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
