From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
