Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
