spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
