Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
