i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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