so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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