It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
