If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
