it hurts more in the daytime
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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