I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
this is an emotional support booty call
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
