Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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