now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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