So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
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