try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
